So I know its very late at night but I tried to sleep. I think it’s not the right way to treat yourself at this time of night to morning. I have been trying for so long to forget everything. My feelings oscillate between hope and fear. Hope to get away get along, fear to lose myself lose the hope to live, fear to lose the one who just got in the way. I never had the deserving power of what I have today but that someone up there let me taste the fruit of whatever I need and sows. I’m not complaining that why all that happened, but the thing how much I can think about it. Is it necessary to be on mind all the time – “ON minded”, And the people who don’t deserve your attention, your love your care, they definitely will show you the real world in its true sense. So many things going around, life keeps changing, people developing and going downtown or may say downtrodden as well, wellness is ahead but it is as slow as Suzuki’s old car model which do chakkchakk in a 5-minute ride for 10 times. you go ahead, you will be pulled back by someone, whether someone whether your thoughts or possibilities you fantasize for. You will get so tired of trying that almost all the roads of recovery will seem to vanish for you. The mind will go in a state of being stopped or dumbed. The question goes towards the ability of a person to think and rethink and pre-think the things from past or future. Is there any answer. I was looking for so long.